Cherry Wine

Everything is falling apart.  I decided about a week ago to start seeing someone.  I told him everything that has happened to me within the past year and it seemed that it might be too much for him.  You know that’s when you’ve had it rough is when a therapist is distraught about your problems. I went last Wednesday and my boyfriend decided to tell me on Friday that after having this plan of us living together for a year might be coming to an end.  He decided to apply for a job five hours away.  I’m stuck with a year lease on an apartment having to pay rent all on my own if he gets the job.  He didn’t discuss it with me first either.  He applied, scheduled an interview, and booked a hotel for tomorrow.  I don’t think I’ve never been so hurt in my life, betrayed even.  I told him everything I’ve been going through, even having thoughts of hurting myself and then he does this at a time when I need him the most.

Things like this make me question everything.  Why am I in school, why am I wasting my time, why am I even here, alive?  What’s the point if every time something remotely good happens I got slapped in the face ten times harder?  I give up.

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