Let It Go

I’ve been seeing someone and I don’t think it’s been that helpful…yet.  I’m still going, I’m not giving up.  My boyfriend has moved in, the job interview out of state, he went to, but they never called him back.  I should be happy that he’s living with me now, but I’m not.  I’m still feeling down and having thoughts of potentially hurting myself.  Not only that, I just don’t know about my relationship with my boyfriend anymore.  Is he living here because it’s convenient?  Or is he here because he wants to be?  I don’t want to be someone’s backup plan, I want to be their first choice.  I feel like I’m never gonna be happy again,  I haven’t felt legitimately happy in what seems like forever.

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